Hati Besar


Sebulan x menghapdate. Buat buat sibuk. Dan xde modal nak sembang.

My ortho posting ended beautifully, I hope so.

Tahun 5 tekanannya agak berbeza, and people start to expect more.

Hardly I can answer questions during ward rounds, thanks to fellow friends yang bijaksana banyak membantu. Felt like, a milestone behind those people, and when other people start to compare, it just make you feel worse.

As for me, I tried my best to not get offended when got scolded, because it is the norm. Better get used to it, rather than get scolded in exams. Already had an experience during OnG posting.

After barely passed Medicine posting, this is my chance to regain my confident level, and to buckle up especially for case presentation. Ye, 5th year pun tak pandai lagi nak present case. Huhu. It is combination of knowledge and art, in which, I lack of both. Alhamdulillah, Ortho posting walaupun nampak simple, tapi banyak membuka mata bagi aku nak perbaiki mana yang patut.

So, next is Paeds posting.
Somebody told me that she had no idea that I would handle those kids.
And I have no idea why on earth she thinks like that. Invalid argument or stereotyping, let it be, harmless.

When I was younger, I used to play with kids, especially my cousins as my late mother was the oldest sister. I can spend hours playing with them, take them to shower, feed them and tidurkan budak-budak tu. (Bahasa Inggeris muet 4 atas pagar je)
And honestly, it was a very delightful feeling when I managed to tidurkan budak2 tu. Like you have achieved something, and I love to see the kids sleep.
And years passed by, they already grown up, and I started to have anak anak sedara.
Entahlah, bila dah rasa tua sikit jadi malas nak layan budak-budak, so I let their moms and bibik did the chores.

Tapi menyedari my time yang bakal menyusut, and hardly I will have the opportunity to take care of them when I start working, tried my best to spend at least few hours with them on weekends, so that at least, they know that they have so-called uncle in their life. Tapi sebenarnya aku tido je depan tv sambil diorang main mainan ultraman ke princess ke hape, bila nangis, aku diamkan.
Tak cukup smartphone aku bagi dengan berat hati, lunyai ipad kakak aku diorang main baling baling. Simple. Aku kan laki, dont expect much. Muahaha.
Dan diorang tak tido ngan aku. Hardly. Puas offer tapi diorang taknak.

My friend reminded me, Paeds and cuteness are common misunderstanding, as they do not belong to each other. Already acknowledge that. Now, it is a new level I suppose, clerk second person rather than the patients themselves.

Last week, I met a boy, whom suspected to have septic arthritis of hip, and planned to have joint aspiration and kiv for open arthrotomy and wash out by the surgeons in charge. A M.O explained to his mother, and suddenly when she heard word 'potong', she was about to burst into tears. I did not agree with the MO to use that term anyway and clearly it disturbed the mother's feeling. One kind hearted nurse supervisor closed the curtains and tried to calm her, I decided to go in, trying to be helpful and he was about to be my cwu. haha. The doctor needed her sign for consent before going to operation room and she needed to be convinced that nothing will harm her son.

That moment meant so much to me, to feel the love of a mother towards his son. I think that I will come across many situations like above in paeds.
Emotional part. Huh, hati kering pun lembab macam ni.

I do not know whether I can stand seeing sick kids everyday.
Tak kenal maka tak cinta. Takpelah.

Officially an ex-Jaksa member, I did not know whether I had contribute much to the organization and Pandan Indah as whole. Mohon halalkan makan minum saya kalau kerja tak seberapa.
I had enough, but the experience working with both dental and medical colleagues is amazing. And we get to understand each other more.
I  give my full support for the new leaderships of JAKSA, MSCs and DSCs to carry out programs for the benefits of USIM Pandan students.

So, hidup ini macam bola sekejap di atas sekejap di bawah. Kadang kadang rasa takut nak naik tinggi sangat, sebab bila jatuh nanti lagi sakit dan parah.
To me, everyone has their own uniqueness, despite their weaknesses. There is no need to point out so much about somebody's defect, as we can gain more from his/her strength.
In a group, trust and understanding are very important. But due to their nature, we need to gain both by mutualism. Dua dua tangan kena bertepuk sama.
Salah kalau satu pihak je asyik mengalah, dan satu pihak lagi asyik nak menang.
Respect pun tak kurang pentingnya.
Yelah, mungkin kita pernah dengar, better save your relationship than your ego.
Payah nak direalisasikan dengan perbuatan, sembang bleh la.
Apa yang paling takut, apa yang didiamkan dipendamkan  nanti jadi bom jangka.
That will destroy everything in its path. Nothing left, and everybody get hurt.
So sad meh. Surely it takes long time to rebuild.

Jadi, kesimpulannya, marilah kita besarkan jiwa kita, sebab jiwa besar lah yang mampu tahan tohmahan orang, mampu balas kejahatan dengan kebaikan. Jiwa besar yang tahu, harmoni dan aman tu adalah suatu fitrah bagi manusia biasa. Jadi, seharusnya jiwa yang besar itu kekok dengan hasad dengki, busuk hati, dendam dan sebagainya yang negatif.

Jangan sebab kita dah terbiasa dengan jahat, kita janggal dengan yang baik.
Jangan jadi macam kelawar, sebab terbiasa dengan gelap, tak mampu tahan cahaya.
Jangan jadi macam vampire, hanya mampu bergerak masa gelap, terbakar bila kena cahaya matahari.

Jadi Batman takpe. Sacrifice himself for the sake of the world peace. Amboi....

The man in red is living example, may God bless him.
(biar la gambar huduh pun)