Towards the end of my eventful posting in Obstetrics. Done with clinical exam. Theory is on the day after tomorrow(Lusa).
I have restrained myself from updating this blog for last few weeks.
Due to logbook chasing for the deliveries, emotional despair, and the other main cause is confidentiality dan Mencari ilham.
Having nightmare in previous Surgery posting, yeah I thought we were the only group that cannot appreciate a specialist's sense of love. Every other group had their cakes lah ape lah. Tak boleh lupa perasaan masa terkial kial dalam wad macam orang bo@#$.
I still could not understand why I passed anyway. But really I thanked God.
So, I determined to change. At least to better in this posting, Obstetrics. I am no genius. The only way that I could think off is the hard one, HARDwork. In which still i am not so used to it.
Every other field has its own challenges. So does Medicine.
Reading books is mandatory.
Just read what the white man writes, and just practice what the white man preaches. Oh, medicine is far away from greatness. Just have a good systemic memorization skills, and have high stamina. Develop your very own anti mocking defence system. And you will survive well. I have no problem with that. I am no genius.
I wish to talk about RESPONSIBILITY, but it will just cost another post.
But the general principle is, we are the becoming doctors, need to have very high sense of responsibility and CANNOT Lie.
The bad thing is, lie is an addiction. Once started, it leads to another sets and chains of lies, that later strangulate our life. Too often, we lied to ourselves. Addicted to wrongdoings despite acknowledging that dunya is not the end, we have akhirat. Ignorant although acknowledging the need to repent to the Almighty over our sins.
I have talked over this over and over, about the importance of niat. And I actually remind myself, that why you guys might said, Aiman, ko cakap pasal niat tapi tak buat betul pun. You have full right to say that, and I have no excuse to deflect. But the fact is, I was reminding myself. And as IM Asyraf said, kalau berdakwah, berdakwahlah macam nak SEMUA orang masuk syurga. Tak kira lah ahli keluarga ke, kawan kawan ke, jiran jiran ke. Semua. Not just our besties.
Apa ? Ingat syurga tak cukup luas ke ? Pernah ukur ?
Therefore, appreciate lah segala peluang yang ada. Masa, ruang, tenaga, harta dan kepandaian. Supaya semuanya at least boleh jadi bekal amal jariah.
"Orang yang baik takkan makan sorang sorang. Jika makan sorang sorang tak cukup baiklah dia tu. Atau dia tak faham konsep baik yang sebenar. "
Walaupun kena marah dan psiko oleh pemeriksa aku dalam dua hari ni, aku gembira sebab dapat belajar perkara baru. Cervical incompetence, rare tapi alhamdulillah dapat bertemu. Breech, tak pernah pernah palpate hari ni dapat jumpa specimen yang sangat bagus, aku tonyoh2 kepala budak tu... hahaha. Cuma sedih sikit tak dapat dengar dia punya heart rate.
Keputusannya, I am glad with myself eventhough the examiners might not. Who cares as it is non of my bloody business(qouting the examiner and i decided to laugh in the end).
Haha. Saya medical student di dalam pagar, mohon tunjuk ajar. Saya bukan genius, dan saya bukan perfectionist, tapi saya tahu apa yang saya nak.
Self satisfaction is more important for me. Bukan buat dosa pun. Belajar je kan.
Ikut lah nak cakap ape pun. Stay positive no matter how hard you struggle, as there is no point of being negative. Kawan saya sebut," Semua ini akan berakhir". Hell yeah !!!
Redho itu masa susah. Bukan sekadar masa makan Secret Recipe dengan kawan kawan.
Oh, pun lama dah tak terlibat dengan aktiviti kokurikulum. JAKSA, MSC. Lama tak bergaul ngan adik-adik.
Ok, till we meet again. Bye bye, all the best and good luck. Bitaufiq wannajah. Thanks for stopping by. Go tiger ! Make your parent proud.
# I really wish that I could share this feeling to her. 2 and half year more if no obstacle. May I be a safe and good doctor. 23 itu tua.